Why has it been so dramatic? Monday night, my Dad and I had the WEIRDEST talk. He of course was joking with me right before I went to bed and said "Don't you remember when you said you would never date Asians?" To which I responded, "you're stupid, Dad." And then he gives me this God awful, probably thought off the top of his head, analogy. "There are many, thousands of different kinds of birds, but no matter how hard the look and try with different types, they find the one in the crowd that fits them perfect." What the HELL does that mean? All of this followed the awkward "love" talk with my Dad. How much weirder does it get? My night consisted of crying, on the phone with one, Adam McKerlie. I love him, he knows me inside and out, it's such a wonderful friendship that we have and then FaceTime'd with Richard Roman. Of course, I was smiling by the end of the night (2am). Well, Tuesday, I came to school freaking out and crying because I thought my dad was dying... That's what my parents get for hiding stuff from me. Never a great idea. I jump to conclusions guys! Especially, when the week before my Mom was being uber sketchy about the situation. That night, my best friend's parents got into a major fight and he and his little brother ended up staying at my house that night. Blechhh! Parents make a whole lot of sense sometimes... NOT.
Anyways, so far, this week has been... extremely progressive. After several different people telling me that they could tell I was stressed out and needed some time off, I finally thought about it. I've been so stressed out with everything that I can't even process things right! I took the day off from life and just slept. I feel so much better and way more refreshed now that I've done so. Also, guys, I know this is totally off topic, but I'm going in for my interview at bebe today! Wish me luck! All my talk about fashion and style is about to either bite me in the butt or help me tons!
All of this and I have yet to even start into the REAL reason behind this blog... God, I don't even know where to start...
"All other pleasures are not worth its pains."
Last night, was a very interesting and good night. To start off with, I spend EVERY single night from about 11pm-3/4am on FaceTime with Richard. I have to say that although I feel like absolute crap every morning, it seems worth it. I finally, came out and put some things into perspective and everything just kind of fell into place after that. Was I ridiculously scared to? Absolutely. If you know me well, you know that I am awfully afraid of rejection. Insecure? Perhaps. I don't know when or how it all happened, but somewhere between March 25th and now, I've grown up a lot. I've come to realize a lot of stuff and the biggest one was coming to the realization that I can't make everyone happy. After Adam, Rich, and my Dad all "lectured" me on making myself happy and relaxing, I guess I finally took it to heart. I keep getting myself off topic, but it all kind of ties in a little... You know that feeling that you get when you just KNOW? Well, I got that feeling somewhere between March 25th and now. Not even a month. Ugh. I guess, what I'm really trying to say is, that I'm extremely thankful that I found someone that gets me and who doesn't judge me at all. Someone who think's I'm beautiful when I'm not wearing makeup and who upon first meeting me, told me that there was something different about me. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but as we've gotten to know each other better, the inner fabrics of my personality are showing and he's finding out just what made me stand out. I found a best friend. Someone who made me happy. It's not even all about that I "like" this person. It's been about the fact that we seem to get each other. Every morning when I wake up, I feel like an absolute train wreck, but I get my coffee and a wonderful "good morning" text message and instantly, my day turns around. I have the HUGEST smile on my face when I see that name pop up on my phone. This is totally putting EVERYTHING out there for anyone to read, but I guess I kind of needed to. He says staying up every night is worth it. He says that when he starts talking to me, he just can't stop. Hopefully, this isn't TOO much. It's a tell all, for sure.
Again...
"All other pleasures are not worth its pains."
Enjoy it guys. [:
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